Transformers Revenge Of The Fallen

As the world knows, I am possibly one of the biggest fans in the entire world of The Transformers, and as anyone could guess, after watching the 2007 live action movie, I was basking in my fanboy glory, as wave after wave of people I know, went to see the film, many times with me, and I watched them recover memories long past of childhood toys and fun, or rekindle that spark of imagination and joy that so many of us children of the 1980s have centered around The Transformers, it is to us, similar to what "the force" is to those who grew up fans of Star Wars before it was ruined by Ewoks, you ask anyone that was alive in the 1980s, and they can name off atlast two Transformers, and in most cases sing the theme song, heck Tom Hanks busted out into the original 1983 cartoon theme song on the Tonight Show once in the late 1990s, when showing he can sing as well as act, much to the roar of those watching the taping of the show. Anyway you get the idea, in our gully of the Geek Forrest, a new transformers film is an event. And this one is no exception.

Now, to be fair, to say Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen is one of those perfect films that I desire all films to be like, would be untrue, but also to be fair, it falls into the same category as the first film, a great sci fi movie hidden as an excellent action movie, with just one or two things that annoy the general populous and tons of things people can nitpick until the end of time, but also, I think now two films into a franchise that could last many more films, I think thats gonna be the way they all are, and personally, I think thats great, a film shouldn't 100% cater to everyone in its fanbase, thats impossible, and completely improvable, and never a key to longevity, you need to evolve your story into a story that is recognizable to the fans, but also is fresh and different enough for new fans to come on board. And Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen does exactly that, and more so it does it with a style and coolness that not many films ever really live up too.

The film takes place two years after the first film ended, and now its cast are starting to go on with their lives, Sam Witwicky, is off to college on "on the east coast" which I guess is what you do after you apparently save the human race, and a race of alien robots from destruction, his girlfriend Mikaela Banes is working at a custom build and repair shop for cars and motorcycles with her recently released from prison father, she spends her days doing mechanic work and posing provocatively on motorcycles while whispering the word "camshaft" in a sexy tone for no real reason, Sam's parents Ron and Judy Witwicky are apparently heading off to France after they rush Sam off to college to make his room into a Home Theater, I would assume so they can watch more Micheal Bay films, after all that is the only real reason for home theaters. Sam's dog Mojo, now spends his days "dominating" the family's new bulldog Frankie, while Sam's guardian, the brave and awesome Bumblebee is living in Sam's parent's garage, apparently just chilling out like so much robotic Arthur Herbert Fonzarelli, though sadly, Bumblebee's voice box isn't working again in this movie, so you never get to hear Bumblebee say "aaaaay" or give the trademark thumps up most antiquate with The Fonz. As for the other Autobots; Optimus Prime, Ratchet and Ironhide are commanding a joint task force made up of Autobots and Humans that track and eliminate Decepticons that appear on planet earth looking for revenge for the end of the first film, or to simply find the surviving ones, Jazz however, is still very much dead, and very much in two parts, and still very much tossed to the side after his 4 second memorial at the end of the first film.

Trouble seems to be abound when Sam finds a small sliver of the Allspark, the all powerful rubik's cube from the first film, falls out of a jacket that he hasn't apparently worn sense the day he saved earth and all those to live on it, he picks it up, it transmits all sorts of images and pictures and things into his brain, it then glows very hot, causing Sam to drop it, and then melt through the floor and land on the kitchen table below, which, much like in the first film, causes everything electrical to come to life, and as you can guess, its all very mad and wants to beat on some humans, I guess thats the customary thing for robots to wanna do when they're just born these days, still not sure how that works, but hey, whatever gets their swagger on I guess, after destroying a good part of the Witwicky home, Sam calls for Bumblebee's help, who busts through the side of the garage and deals with the world's most angry kitchen set swiftly and with extreme prejudice, for which Sam, for some reason yells at him for, which upsets Bumblebee, no idea why you'd wanna yell at a 20 foot tall war mech that just saved you from a kitchen clock that was out for blood, but, Sam's a pretty confusing guy. After a short scene with Ron and Judy Witwicky talking about how they can't say killer robots did the damage to their home because of national security and that the government will pay for repairs, you see Sam gather "the sliver" off the table and place it in a metal container, he then hands it to his girlfriend Mikaela who shows up not long after the chaos happens, the two of them then go into the garage and explain to Bumblebee that he isn't going to college with Sam, to which Bumblebee starts to cry, because you know, giant war mech's cry all the time, I found this odd because, well come on, you're going to college, you'll need a car, I'm pretty sure a pimped out brand new Camaro is a good choice.

You then next see the other Autobots as they runamuck (hehe original transformer references rock) through the city of Shanghai where the Autobots have tracked atleast one Decepticon, who happens to be hiding in the form of the largest vehicle on the planet, a Terrex Excavator, though unnamed in the film this character is called Demolishor, this is where you are introduced to some of the new autobots in the cast, most notably Sideswipe, a silver new body style Corvette, the triplet female motorcycles; Arcee, Chromia, and their unnamed on screen third one, Arcee is pink, Chromia is blue, and the unnamed one, given its purple color scheme and keeping with the female auotbot names, I'm lead to believe is ment to be Elita-One, this is also where you meet most debated characters in the film, "The Twins" Skidz and Mudflap, seen here both combining into the front and back half of a 1950s style ice cream truck, love or hate these two, the decal on their alt mode's side, "Decepticons can suck my popsicles" is epically hilarious, after this scene The Twins each take their own alt mode and then proceed to spend the rest of the movie drawing more hate from the transformers fandom then when Megatron's head CGI rendering leaked to the internet before the 2007 film.

Once you've been introduced to each of them, Demolishor transforms into his freakishly huge robot mode and starts to make a mess of the city of Shanghai, as is the custom with giant robots that are featured in the trailer for films about giant robots, as he does this, another Decepticon is detected, this time a high end sports car, though unnamed in the film as well, his name is Sideways, he is however quickly cut in half by Sideswipe in a scene thats to show us just how bad ass Sideswipe is, as the fight with Demolishor rages on, eventually Optimus Prime is called in, and after a fight through the city that causes even more property damage, and after harbingering the return of The Fallen, Optimus Prime ends the fight in the only way a hero of his nobility and stature could, by shooting Demolishor right in the face, heroically. From here you go abit more into learning whats been going on in the two years sense the first film, and you also meet Soundwave, who's so bad ass he spends the whole movie floating over the planet in some strange almost Satellite like form, I guess much like his original counterpart, Soundwave is just too awesome for us humans to handlehe does send down his "pet" Ravage though, so I guess thats something. You also see the Decepticons discover Megatron's body and steal the chunk of Allspark that was in the care of this Autobot/human task force (called NEST), and soon Megatron is revived and in the mood to kill him some humans, you are also introduced to The Fallen, who really only plays a small role in the film which bares his name, I found that confusing, but I didn't care, I was too busy being assaulted by awesome to care. You also meet Wheelie, the decepticon turned autobot radio control truck who spends his time in film being burned in the eye with a welding torch, locked in a case, swearing randomly and doing that thing to Megan Fox's leg that dogs do when they REALLY like you, all of these things would be funny on their own, but add to them that Wheelie is voiced by Tom Kenny who is using his trademark SpoungeBob Squarepants voice during it all, it just makes it even funnier.

With out giving away key plot points or too much detail, the movie shifts up into its fastest gear and then hits a nitro boost to give it that just enough super fast paced action to keep even the hardest of the hardcore fan happy and the motion sicknessest of the motion sickness suffers out there vomiting into their popcorn buckets. During this you find out what happened to Agent Simmons after Sector Seven was disband at the end of the first film, and you meet Jetfire who swears alot, is really old, really grumpy, has a cane that transforms as part of his alt form, and can use Spacebridges to travel from place to place, a Spacebridge in this version of the Transformers is basically a teleportation system that takes you from one place, and tosses you out in another, it doesn't seem to be all that safe, with the tossing everyone in the air all willy nilly and such instead of a nice soft landing, but hey, Jetfire himself is awesome for an old grumpy aussie slang speaking robot, oh and Devastator, the simple minded giant decepticon death machine of death shows up, and after causing alot of property damage and apparently almost beaten by The Twins, he eventually gets shot in the... crotch? i guess is the best way to explain that, with a railgun, and I seriously wish I was making that up, but I'm not, it really happens. Also the Fallen himself shows up for the end fight, which is strange because you really only see him for about 20 minutes tops in the whole film and you are left wondering why a secondary character got their name into the title.

There is alot more to this movie, but really with out spoiling it I can't really go on, but trust in me when I say that the film was just as amazing as I'd hoped it would be and I hope none of you take my light hearted tongue in cheek review of the film with negative connotations I truly loved it and am already crying for the next one to come out, sure there are alot of confusing things, mostly nitpicky things that didn't ruin the film for me by any means, but just sort of bugged me; like how certain decepticons seemed to be in more then one place at a time, and others came back from their deaths in the first film or there were two cons that shared the same alt mode, also lack of screen time for awesome newer characters like Sideswipe that really only feature in the first 10 minutes then hardly do anything the rest of the film, the ton of unnamed characters on both sides, and Alice, if you wanna understand why Alice bothered me, google these words "Transformers Kiss Player" and watch your mind shatter into thousands of bits. Also on the controversy of The Twins, though i can see where people find them racist or annoying, I can understand this way of thinking, but, we all need to remember, in every single part of the Transformers mythos, there has been atleast one character that you either hated or loved, in the movie universe, I'm assuming that role will be The Twins.

So, if you've not seen this film yet, I just have to ask, why are you sitting here reading the end of my review, get yourselves out there and see it! This, like the 2007 film before it, and all of those which will follow, are going to always be a happening, just like this is, you gotta be a part of it, fan or not.

Oh and just for fun, I'll leave you with these lines...

"Oh my friend, he went out to find you a tighter shirt"
"there isn't one.."
"yeah, we checked"

you will laugh yourself silly at it when its time comes to pass.


---

Laz

So, I just watched Bruno...

I'm sure most of you have heard about this film, Sasha Baron Cohen's follow up to the ridiculously huge hit Borat, where he went around in the guise of a middle eastern looking newsman from central Europe who came to America to learn about our culture and how his people could be more like us, and along the way trying to teach about his country's customs. We all know now that in truth, it was a "smash" style movie, where in it was filmed with the character dealing with real people in real situations, where the real comedy isn't really Borat, so much as people reacting to him and his ways, that "how far will we go to be polite and not make a fuss do to cultural differences" thing, that was the true comedy of Borat, I'm not sure how many people really get that about it...

Anyway, for whatever reason, Sasha Baron Cohen, creator of Borat and before him hilariously chav British hip hop legend Ali G, has decided to go around, doing what he did with Borat again, but this time with an insanely flamboyant homosexual and completely clueless German character by the name of Bruno, only this time he's pushed the "real" up about 15 levels. And I'm sorry, it just doesn't work for me.

See, Borat was offensive, but there was an innocent unintentional offensiveness to him, like, you know if anyone else had said "we're going to speak to real chocolate faced man!" and then spoke to a black man, you would be offended, but given the innocently clueless nature of Borat, you find yourself laughing at it, even if you feel bad about it later. However, with Bruno, Cohen plays him as a completely shallow, ignorant, self centered, and just plain rude. There is none of the charm of either Borat or Ali G, there is just an insulting ignorance to Bruno that I found myself not caring for at all. Like when he tells a fake talk show's all black audience that he's named his adopted African baby a "traditional African American name" and then tells him he's named the child after O.J Simpson, much to their outrage, or how he speaks to a Muslim extremist and repeatedly calls him a terrorist, and says things like "your god, looks like a dirty crazy man, or homeless Santa Claus", you don't laugh, you find yourself wondering how exactly this was supposed to work when Cohen wrote it out on paper, and who he's trying to insult more, Americans and how our culture has influenced the world, or Europeans that are stereotypically seen as Eurotrash like Bruno in most country's media.

Dunno, maybe its just me, but, this just didn't work for me, i'm sure there is an audience for it out there, after all pot smokers haven't had a good pot friendly movie yet this year, maybe they'll be the ones that go and see this, because I can't really see any sane person doing so, but thats just me i guess.

So who knows...?


--

Laz

Ten Foreign Films Everyone Should See

I've always been a fan of the foreign cinema, most assume its to do with my roots in grindhouse and its obsession with asian market action films, and thats probably correct, but it goes so far past that, as I've grown older in my 31 years on this planet, most of which were spent watching movies, I've gained a sort of love for foreign language films, maybe its the way they're shot, or how they dare to do things that we here in the states wouldn't ever do, or couldn't do because of rating systems and things, or their completely non-formula take on things, or how they all feel generally real for the most part, given their shot on actual location, not just shot in LA or Vancouver and have you believe its some other place, or maybe its a number of things that i just can't seem to put my finger on, but the fact remains, i do love the foreign cinema ever so, and that is why I thought about it, and felt the need to write down my list of ten foreign films that everyone should see.. Oh and I should note that the order these are in isn't really a "top ten list" or anything its just I felt the need to number them, because I'm organized like that...

So with out any farther preamble, lets get to it...


Number 10: Yojimbo
As anyone can tell by my almost constant rambling on the matter, I am a huge fan of the Asian master of cinema himself Akira Kurosawa. And though you hear me go on and on about Seven Samurai and Rashomon, my two favorites, I often forget to mention the brilliance that is Yojimbo, the tale of a lone ronin (a master less samurai) who calls himself "Kuwabatake Sanjuro" a made up name its implied, and how he brings peace to two warring towns by inciting them to the brink of war. Alot of people claim this is the first "man with no name" film ever made, the man with no name concept would later become a staple of the early Clint Eastwood westerns among other things in the west, and I guess its possible, after all alot of Kurosawa's work was adapted and borrowed from in westerns, given the concept behind most westerns and samurai films weren't all that different. If you've not seen Yojimbo though, its definitely worth tracking down a copy via the internet or retail, beautiful film with a poignant story told as only Akira Kurosawa can.


Number Nine: Häxan
This is another of those films I'm always going on about, and with good reason honestly, readers of my blog know that this film is a documentary done in the early part of the 20th century about the history of witchcraft, and though we all know the "facts" to be horribly wrong, the cinematography and re-enacting of alot of the "historical events" make this film a must watch, even if you find it just comically bad, or insultingly offensive to your intelligence, its still very much worth a look, if for nothing else but to see just how early film makers from around the world did things in the days when budgets were so low they were almost not even there at all. Personally, I find the film engaging in the sense that even though its facts are all based on unchecked and untrue hearsay and local superstition, it still shows you just how far we have come in our beliefs of those things we can't understand and fear or dismiss because of that. Plus, the devil dancing around with all the witches will make anyone laugh atleast once.


Number Eight: Omaret Yakobean
Its name translates to "The Yacoubian Building" in english, and is possibly the greatest arabic movie I have ever seen. It was groundbreaking in both middle eastern cinema and in its native Egyptian cinema as well, given its taboo breaking nature, most notably the true to life in the middle east depiction of an openly homosexual character in a prominent role in the film, as well as its bluntly true depiction of discrimination do to someone's personal and even their parent's social standing. Its just a brilliant picture of what life is like in a modern, non war torn middle eastern country thats trying to stay true to its history and beliefs, but also moving forward in the modern world. The story is really several small stories all rolled together to make a film, with the central connection being the business buildin for which the film is named as the center point. Each story is happening at the same time, and though short in the pretext of fitting into a film with other stories to be told, they do a great job, I won't go into to much detail about each because i'd tend up telling you everything, but this really is a film everyone should watch atleast once, its based on a book of the same name and even spawned a television series, which is pretty impressive for anywhere in the world honestly.


Number Seven: Kader
This turkish film's name translates to "Destiny" and follows the life of three people, an emotionally damaged woman in her middle 20s, her mentally unstable boyfriend, and a shy man who falls in love with her, and how their lives connect and enventualy lead to the same point of destiny. I've always loved films of this nature, they are so good when done right, which sadly doesn't happen as often as you'd believe in cinema. This film took my by surprise honestly, I wasn't expecting to be as riveted to it as I was, truly impressed. The film does a great job jumping between the focus on all three and their backstories and clearly drives home how their relationships all work, the second half of the film though is the best, when it jumps afew years and involves two of them looking for the location of the other and all that happens in that quest, thats where the film really shines. Its hard to actually explain this film with out giving you everything all at once and ruining it, which really is a good sign about a film. Atleast I think so.


Number Six: Sügisball
As I've stated many times, I love this film, its name translates to "Autumn Ball" and tells the story of those who live in a rundown apartment building in Tallinn Estonia before the fall of the soviet union, it tells its stories in a fashion alot like Omaret Yakobean except in some form or another everyone in main cast interacts with each other and plays a role in each other's stories, and unlike most movies of this kind, they all come to the same end. I fell in love with the style this film was shot in almost insanely, form its realistic location shooting to its realistic depiction of social interaction on all levels, a true feel of realism, I always love thta in a film. A film's job is to take you into the world of the characters and make you feel a part of the story, not to just stare at a screen for 2 hours or so. I had alot of trouble though on this one, where to place it and such once I decided I wanted to show Estonia some love, and debating between listing this one, magnus or Klass all three are equally as brilliant, was really hard to decide, so I finally just pulled a name out of a hat. Yes, thats exactly how we all do lists in the business, its a truly scientific method really.


Number Five: Linha de Passe
I would be in alot of trouble if I hadn't included a Brazilian film on this list, and though to be honest, I am fairly new to the Brazilian cinema, one of the stand outs for me, has been Linha de Passe, the story of a poor family in São Paulo and how they all reach for their dreams while trying to survive. The film depicts a family that consists of four brothers who all have different father's but the same mother, who is pregnant with a fifth child and cleans houses for a job. The film tells each brother's story of their dreams as they go through childhood together and how they try to reach their goals while not being taken into the somewhat unhealthy lifestyle of the Favela (shanty town in english) where they live. As you would expect with a film of this nature, its fun and uplifting, and at times seriously saddening, but its true to life in that respect, no life anywhere is with out conflict or emotion. This film made me want to do research on the lifestyles of those who live in Favela communities and it seems to be pretty on point with afew differences, that I assume where made for cinematic reasons, but you get that with any film honestly, though as I've stated many times, the key is the not make it seem unrealistic. I was totally taken by surprise with this film, I hope the rest of you will be too.



Number Four: Linkeroever
I, like many, spent most of last year raving about swedish vampire film "Let the Right One In", and rightly so, but once that dust settled, I was aimed in the direction of another foreign horror film, who's name translates to "The Left Bank" in english, Linkeroever is a Belgian horror film in the older meaning of the term, where its more like a thriller that messes with your mind and your senses, with out going for that insultingly craptastic to the viewer concept modern american horror has where it has to be all bloody and gross out to be scary. This is more horror in the vain of the 1972 version of Last House On The Left or the 1973 version of The Wicker Man, where it was more the slow decent into a mental hell of one's own making was the real horror of the film. The centerpiece of this film is, oddly enough, the love story between its main characters and how its put through the most horrible stress, its the story of Maria, a professional runner who has just qualified for a large europian championship, and Bobby, a professional Archer, its the story of how they meet, fall in love, move in together and are slowly driven insane as they find clues to the mysterious disappearance of the people that lived in the apartment building on the left bank of Antwerp, which is built on an area said to have mysterious and dangerous history going all the way back to the Medieval times. I know alot of people will think this is a horror film in the horribly over done american sense and dismiss it, but seriously, don't sleep on this one, this film is a stellar mental horror film that twists your mind up in knots the whole way through.


Number Three: Loss
Its original name "Nereikalingi žmonės" translating too "Unnecessary People", this Lithuanian drama, loosely based on the film "Six Degrees of Separation" is the story of six lives that clash together no matter how hard they try not to, and how no matter what you do, you can not run away from your life and its complexity, there is just now way. The film starts in Ireland where a priest who's come there from Lithuania meets a woman from his homeland, and discovers that she is connected to the life he tried to leave behind. its a bitter tail of love, adultery, and child custody, thats just so gut wrenching that it almost is a crime to have not seen it, its just, so well made and so direct and to the point with its story and message. I love when a film does that, seriously, I can't repeat this enough, a good film is a film that takes you into its world and makes you feel you're part of it, something that is helped by the way the film was shot. It was shot in a way akin to the film Cloverfield, which was done all by hand held cameras to give you a "natural" sense of movement, you are at eye level with the cast, you move at the same speed, the same motions all of that, you truly feel as if you are part of the film. I love that.


Number Two: A Touch of Spice
This is the cute greek dramatic comedy that tells the story of a man named Fanis Iakovides as he looks back at his childhood in the 1960s and remembers his time living in Istanbul Turkey, and then moving to Athens Greece, it starts out in Istanbul where he works in a specialty spice shop owned and run by his turkish grandfather, a sort of culinary philosopher as he's called, he teaches him of the joy of spices and how they are the secret to life. He is later deported back to Greece with his parents because tention between Greece and Turkey at the time demanded the deportation of all greeks and their families back to Greece. Fanis having issues fitting in to life in Athens, spends alot of his time in the kitchen cooking, the only real link to his homeland and to his grandfather, this worries his mother who fears either he is depressed or a homosexual, how being a great cook links to homosexuality I have no idea, Fanis grows up to become an excellent cook and teaches many others, and often shares his tricks with friends and other cooks he meets, the film ends with Fanis back in Istanbul with his grandfather's health fading and looking back at his life. Its a cute and kind of sad at times story of one man's life, its not stellar or something that will stand the test of time, but, I find it a nice peak at the greek cinema, which is often forgotten by most outside of the country itself.



Number One: 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days
I'm pretty sure most people knew this film would be on this list, given how I constantly rave about it, and how its a must see film. For those that are new, or haven't seen me ramble about this film, "4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days" is a Romanian film that takes place in 1987 Romania, when abortion is still illegal, it tells the story of two friends and their journey to find an abortionist to terminate one of them's unwanted pregnancy, and all the mental trauma that happens on the way, during and after, as i've said many times, its a punch you in the face hard edged in your face taboo subject matter film that kicks you in the genitals and stabs you in the stomach with its realism and its drive to push just how important it is to make films of this nature, about these things that no one ever talks about, and more so, to never water them down as most countries do. This gem of Romanian Cinema doesn't do that, instead it refuses to even entertain the idea and forces you to deal with its nature, if you agree with the subject matter or not, it doesn't care, it just makes you sit there cativated in your seat while it tells you a story that you might not be personally ready to hear, but are going to hear anyway. I've said it before and i'll say it again, films like this need to be made, and seen.


Ok so thats it for this post... i'll be back soon... so till then, blessid be.


---

Laz

Fun with Wallpaper making

I recently came into ownership of an original poster for the 1968 Italian film "acid" a forgotten drugsplotation movie by Giuseppe Maria Scotese, a film which most only are vaguely aware of given its somewhat iconic and highly sought after promotional poster.

It is that promotional artwork, that I wish to show off abit of my amateur photoshop skills with, mostly because I got bored with my current pc background and wanted something completely different.

First off, lets have a look at what the image looked like at the start... click it for a beautiful super hi-rez version...



From there I decided to first, make just take the image of the woman and make it a black background, you know something simple and not to far above my photoshop talents, which really don't involve this kind of work normally.. Again, click the picture for the full size version



And just for those who wish to keep things as close to original as possible, I made this second version, which keeps the logo intact, and again click for a bigger picture...



Sure they aren't the greatest in photoshop tech, and they probably never will be, but, I had fun making them, and sharing them with you all. And I hope maybe I've inspired afew of you got out there and see if you can find a copy of this movie, its abit of a trip.. haha get it? drug movie? a trip? haha... my american slang is lost on most of you but hey, its still awesome to me... hehe...

enjoy everyone :D

--

Laz

Canceled US Television Shows for 2008-2009 Season

So with the fall 2008 to summer 2009 television season coming to an end here in the united states, I figured we could have us a look at what shows have bid their final cast call this year, some will be missed, some make alot of sense, some i wonder how they made it to tv in the first place.. So lets just right into it...

Canceled US Television Shows for the 2008 - 2009 Season

ABC

* According to Jim (Final episode airs June 2)
* Boston Legal
* Cupid (1 unaired episode)
* Dirty Sexy Money (Final 4 episodes air July 18-Aug. 8)
* Eli Stone (Final 4 episodes air June 20-July 11)
* Homeland Security USA (5 unaired episodes)
* In the Motherhood (3 episodes to air in June)
* Life on Mars
* Opportunity Knocks (6 unaired episodes)
* Pushing Daisies (Final 3 episodes air May 30-June 13, will continue as comic book)
* Samantha Who? (7 unaired episodes)
* The Unusuals (Final episode airs June 17)

My Thoughts:
Not alot of surprise here, but that doesn't mean afew don't make me mad, Eli Stone, Dirty Sexy Money and Pushing Daisies were amazingly well done and enjoyable shows that deserved alot more ratings and alot bigger of a push from the network then they got, for nothing else then to thank them from keeping their timeslots out of the toilet during the writer's strike last year. My biggest complaint is the canceling of Life On Mars, sure it was a remake of a great british program, and yes, the finished product is ALOT better then the pilot I saw over the summer last year, but still, everyone knows a crime drama takes atleast two seasons to get going, I guess everyone forgets that eh? The rest are aging sitcoms that should have been ended long before now, or rip off of Life On Mars cop shows.

CBS

* Eleventh Hour
* The Ex List (7 unaired episodes)
* Game Show in My Head (7 unaired episodes)
* Guiding Light (Last episode airs September 18)
* Harper's Island (Last episode airs July 11)
* Million Dollar Password (Final episode airs June 14)
* Swingtown
* The Unit
* Without a Trace
* Worst Week

My Thoughts:
There really are only two surprises on this list honestly, the canceling of the longest running television show in history, Guiding Light, now I'm not a fan of soaps really, granted now and then I'll watch one for the camp hilarity of stories about secret pregnancies, murder and rape thats forgotten like 5 months later, and people coming back from the dead with an eye patch, graying hair and a vendetta, but after 57 years on the air or something like that a tv show has earned the respect enough to just keep doing what it does. Plus I'm pretty sure its ratings are better then The Price Is Right, which really should get the axe, because really, there is nowhere in the country that stuff costs what they say it does, also Drew Carey's a douche. The other surprise for me is Swingtown. Now I've always loved well done period pieces, I find that it interesting how much details goes into those sort of shows, and sure, some might roll their eyes and lightly chuckle at the idea of a drama set in a small community in the late 1970s that has embraced the "swinger" lifestyle, but it was just so well done, and well acted, its just another case of CBS mishandling a great show, like they did with Jericho and how they passed on Babylon Fields. It almost makes me wonder if any show that doesn't have the following of the elderly or the letters C S or I in its title, they have no idea what to do with it. No other surprises really, they said from the start the Harper's Island was going to be a 13 part miniseries, plus i don't really know how they could keep it going given its premise anyway, shame though because its really good. The rest, I'm not really said to see go, afew aging dramas that were past their time and afew failed comedies. I guess I don't get my wish of no more Big Bang Theory or Gary Unmarried this year, stupid TV Cancellation Faeries never do come through for me, I need to stop doing assassinations for them, they never do come through.

The CW

* 13: Fear Is Real
* 4REAL (1 unaired episode)
* Easy Money (4 unaired episodes)
* Everybody Hates Chris
* The Game
* In Harm's Way (5 unaired episodes)
* Privileged
* Reaper (Final episode airs May 26)
* Stylista
* Valentine (4 unaired episodes)

My Thoughts:
My only real complaint here is Reaper, that show is just so brilliant and well acted, and just made of win. Reaper was canceled for lack of ratings, atleast thats the claim, though i could argue that a show thats only promoted around Halloween, given its premise and storyline, really never had a chance to begin with, but i can still be bitter. Thing is, in truth, Reaper wasn't canceled because of ratings, looking at this list and doing alittle research will tell you, all of The CW's comedy is on this list, which means they will be the first network to be with out any comedy programing at all, and instead plan on replacing them, the two dramas on that list and the one reality show, with more teenager aimed dramatic shlock, even a rip off of that horrible Twilight series is coming from them. A network with not comedy makes no sense, it sounds almost like they're aiming for ratings failure. Good luck staying at the bottom with your teenager aimed angst and turmoil ridden shows about pretty young people doing dumb things.

FOX

* Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? (Final episode airs in August)
* Do Not Disturb (3 unaired episodes)
* Don't Forget the Lyrics (Final episode airs June 19)
* Hole in the Wall (8 unaired episodes)
* MADtv
* Prison Break (Will be a Direct-to-DVD movie)
* Secret Millionaire
* Sit Down, Shut Up (8 unaired episodes, may air in Summer)
* TALKSHOW with Spike Feresten
* Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

My Thoughts:
So this is abit of a confusion, Fifth Grader and Lyrics were always a nice easy to make summer ratings win for FOX, I'm not sure why they'd feel the need to cancel that but I guess thats the way they wanna roll. Kind of a shock Secret Millionaire got killed honestly, you'd think any show that knocks rich people down a peg would be worth a second try. Even though I knew back in december that MadTV was off the air come June, it still kind of sad to me, the only show brave enough to take on Saturday Night Live, and actually be funnier and more current, for half the budget, getting the axe after 14 years is kind of a kick in the face. As for Terminator, they stated all along this would be the last part of the show more then likely, given with the movie Terminator Salvation being the end result of the series' future and all, and their thinking that sending back another terminator to change the past again would be abit not television friendly of an idea. The rest, meh, I don't really care enough about to bother caring.

MyNetworkTV

* Celebrity Exposé (several unaired episodes)
* Jail (Final episode airs July 14)
* Magic's Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed
* Masters of Illusion
* Street Patrol (Final episode airs August 4)
* The Tony Rock Project
* Under One Roof
* Vice Squad
* The World's Funniest Moments

My Thoughts:
Seriously, does anyone really care about this network? its closing its doors in June and gonna become a subscription service for indie channels, and really all those channels want is WWE Smackdown, which is infact the only show they're keeping.

NBC

* America's Toughest Jobs
* The Chopping Block (Final episodes air June 19-July 17)
* Deal or No Deal
* ER
* Howie Do It
* Kath & Kim
* Kings (Final episodes air June 13-July 25)
* Knight Rider
* Life
* Lipstick Jungle
* Medium (Moving to CBS)
* Momma's Boys
* My Name Is Earl
* My Own Worst Enemy
* Superstars of Dance

My Thoughts:
The canceling of My Name Is Earl is abit of a shocker, I mean most NBC sitcoms that make it 5 years always seem to make it far enough to go the distance, but i guess not this time. ER we all knew was ending, and we all knew Scrubs was moving networks, so those aren't much of a shock really, nore are the rest, they were all sub par programs that didn't do much as far as ratings go and were horrible as far as writing goes. The gameshows are abit of a surprise, but all networks cut their gameshows, so that makes sense they'd follow through. Plus Medium got picked up by CBS so, who knows. NBC's gonna have a huge problem anyway, they'll need programing once Jay Leno's new show tanks, and they need to fill those slots again. Good luck with that. Idiots.

Only other things getting canceled that I care about really are The Middleman and The Starter Wife. I do love the middleman ever so given its geektastic nature, as for The Starter Wife, I do love anything with Debra Messing in it, oh the horrors I would brave for that woman, among them actually watching Will and Grace.

Well thats that for now... check y'all soon

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Laz

Television Shows You Should All Give A Watch Pt. 2

Continuing where i left off with my suggestions of tv shows that people should give a look too....

ready, set, lets go....



Name: Outrageous Fortune
Country: New Zealand
Genre: Dramatic Comedy
Airing Status: fifth series is currently in production.
You can find the Downloads: here (sorry for the size, was the only torrent i could find)

I have to state this at the start here, I was introduced to this series by a friend of mine who's taste in television and movies I find so good it probably is better then my own. Anyway with that said, lets get into this, Outrageous Fortune does something that people have been trying to do sense the birth of television, make a perfect modern take on a Shakespearian dramatic comedy, and though I've seen many who came close, the creators of this somewhat obscure New Zealand series have hit the mark, even paying homage to the concept by taking not only the show's name, but the episode titles, all from the work of the immortal bard, sure its a risk and abit brash, to reach that high with your series, but it pays off so many times over. The show itself is the story of The West family, a family who's business is crime. Well it was until their matriarch Wolfgang "wolf" West is sent to jail for 4 years, in the wake of this, his wife Cheryl decides the entire family needs to go straight, that they can't continue to live as they do, the show follows as the family blurs that line between right, wrong, legal and illegal, with each character tending to slant one way or the other depending on their beliefs and characteristics. Its a brilliantly written, darkly funny and at times outright sexy modern take on the classic concept of redemption and repentance meets real world ethics and ideals. if you've not had a chance to have a look at this brilliant series then you need to give it a look. Its also been remade in the UK under the title "Honest" and is going to be made in the US as "Good Behavior".



Name: Demons
Country: UK
Genre: Sci Fi Action Fantasy
Airing Status: unsure, contract talks are stalled, possibly ended.
You can find the Downloads: here

Demons is a pretty neat little concept of a show, take the idea brought forth by various other shows about hunting down supernatural things, but instead of something tired and kind of trite like "a vampire killed my parent/brother/sister/second cousin/girlfriend/boyfriend/whatever now i must hunt down all creatures of the night!" or some other concept thats as played out as pacman on the atari 2600, this show takes that concept and mixes with with a classic story that doesn't really get much love these days, the story of Bram Stroker's Dracula. Demons follows the story of Luke Rutherford, a teenager who happens to be the last of the Van Helsing family's bloodline, when he's attacked by a "half life" (their word for demon), he is eventually saved by Rupert Galvin, a man his mother recognizes as the best friend of her dead husband. Rupert explains to Luke that he is the last of the Van Helsing bloodline, and that its his duty to take up the family business, which happens to be fighting demons. He takes Luke to a place called The Stacks, where all the knowledge and weapons they will need for this task is, he also meets Willamina Harker, a blind woman, who you later find out is the very same Mina Harker from the book Dracula, she has gone blind by using a machine to filter her blood to keep the vampire urges at bay. Eventually they are also aided by Luke's best friend Ruby, who demands they let her help, and after proving herself, she's welcomed in. The Four of them go about, as Rupert puts it "Grading and Smiting" the demons of the world. Sure its maybe not the best show out there, but its fun, and a pretty fun way to waist an hour of your time, not to scary, not too camp, somewhere right in the middle. plus, the show stars Philip Glenister, better known as Gene Hunt in the original version of Life On Mars and its follow up series Ashes to Ashes, and Zoe Tapper of Survivors, all of which are shows I greatly enjoy, so can't really go wrong.



Name: Shameless
Country: UK
Genre: Drama Comedy
Airing Status: just finished its 6th series, number 7 starts in early 2010.
You can find the Downloads: here (pick which ever way you wanna download'um)

Believe it or not, the concept of white trash is not relegated completely to the southern part of united states, I know, its a concept that had me baffled at first too, but then I saw the awesome that is Shameless, and I never wondered again. The series follows the Gallagher family, consisting of Frank Gallagher and his nine children, as they slum about a housing estate in Manchester England (england, across the atlantic sea..) and interact with those around their estate and area around it. The closest I could reference it too would be the old american series Rosanne, where you have a true to life low income family and their friends and enemies all trying to just get by, and just like that series, when they need to be serious they are, but more times then not, they're just funny as hell. It helps that the show is fronted by the amazing David Threlfall as Frank Gallagher, if you've never seen David's work, you are missing out, the best showings of his range is as Frank, or when he appeared in the tv show Afterlife on an episode called "The Rat Man" which just sends shivers up my spine. You should seriously give this one a look, before HBO screws it up like they screwed up Little Britain. Also, if you can, find subtitles the accents get abit hard to follow sometimes... lol



Name: The Venture Brothers
Country: USA
Genre: Action Comedy
Airing Status: Season Four is in production
You can find the Downloads: here

I would be untrue to myself if my list of shows everyone should give a try didn't have atleast one cartoon on it, and sense i can't find downloads of the incredible Delta State, I will go with my second favorite animated series, The Venture Brothers. Designed as a spoof on classic action adventure television shows and books aimed at 1950s, 60s and 70s young teens, in particular The Hardy Boys and (very heavily) classic cartoon Johnny Quest. The show follows the adventures of Dean and Hank Venture, two fraternal twins born 6 minutes apart, their father Doctor Thadeus S. Venture and his Bodyguard Brock Sampson, as well as their rather large extended cast of both other adventures and supervillains. its large rich cast really is where the show shines the brightest. From the hilarious villain known as The Monarch, a man who hates Dr. Venture with all he has in him and has a flair for long winded speeches about said hate, all while dressed as a giant monarch butterfly with his sidekick, Doctor Girlfriend, who looks like a shapely version of Jackie Kennedy but has a voice like a man thats been smoking cigars his whole life, to the completely over the top Doctor Byran Orphious, a necromancer who rents an old wing of the Venture compound and is always more then willing to help the ventures out, and so many others. Its really a hilariously brilliant program, sure its goofy and kind of formula, but its brilliantly done, its camp enough to make you wanna come back for more, and its spoof enough that you'll find yourself having a stroll down memory lane remembering alot of the stuff thats referenced or spoofed. Seriously recommend it if you haven't had a look yet.



Name: The Middleman
Country: USA
Genre: Comedy Action
Airing Status: Ended
You can find the Downloads: Here

When asked to tell you about me, there are five things the people who know me will tell you, 1.) I am way to far into comic books, sci fi, and other things of geek culture for my own good, 2.) that I become very annoying with my constant pop culture references, 3.) I really like my fried chicken, 4.) I sing the body electric, and 5.) I love to laugh and have a good time. Three of those things are embodied perfectly in the awesome that was The Middleman, an obscure hour long series that each episode was spoofing some facet of geek culture, every last detail would be taken from anything related to what the episode is around. Examples; in the episode with ghosts, the haunted house was at 1984 Ray Parker Jr. Avenue, and a special device they used to see the ghosts' name spelled out Ecto One and was invented by Dr. Egone Vankmen. All references to the Ghostbusters films, the first one came out in 1984, Ray Parker Jr. sang the well known theme song to the film, Ecto One was the car they drove, and two of the characters were Egone and Vankmen. See what I mean? Another example; in the episode where they went to another dimension, all the male characters had beards, there was a store called "Mirror Mirror", they used a device called a tardis locater and a young NASA operative was called Leftbridge Stewart, there was a classic episode of the original Star Trek series called "Mirror Mirror" in which evil version of the cast came from another dimension, evil Spock had a beard and Goatee, Leftbridge Stewart is a reference to the character of the same name, more commonly known as "The Brigadier" from the classic sci fi series Doctor Who, in which The Doctor and his companions would travel in a ship called The tardis. In another episode they fight a mafia like group of Lucha libre wrestlers, headed by two men who wear masks like El Santo and The Blue Demon... Ok I think you get the idea. Its just the brilliance of how the show as written and how they worked so much in, even the aliases used by The Middleman and Wendy the plucky young girl who assists him, are all references to characters from old actors, old tv shows, old comic books, ect. Its just so much fun to watch, sure its cheesy and low budget, but I don't care, and you shouldn't either, its just amazingly well written silliness at its best. Shame its over though.



Name: Underbelly
Country: Australia
Genre: drama crime
Airing Status: Series 2 just finished, 3 will air next year.
You can find the Downloads: here (pick from here)

I guess just like anyone, I'm a sucker for a well made crime drama, oh sure, there are tons out there, some good, some bad, some somewhere in the middle. In the upper levels of the good is the aussie crime drama Underbelly, the show that many has claimed could be the greatest aussie show ever made, and thats a tall order, there isn't alot of shows that can match the awesome that was Skippy the Brush Kangaroo. Underbelly is the fictional account of the Melbourne gangland war that lasted from 1995 until 2004. Its the story of the rival crime families and the detectives that bring them down. The story is a hard as nails gritty crime drama that rivals anything you'd find on The Wire, or Wire In the Blood or any of those other kick you in the mouth till you cry like a baby for the pain to stop style shows. Series One tells the actual story of the gang war itself, and the second series is billed as a prequel where it sets up everything and you see the gangs involved rise to power, there is a third on the way, but i'm not really sure what thats gonna be about, i'd assume its gonna deal with the aftermath or something, but either way i can't wait to see! This would be the perfect time to check this show out if you haven't yet.



Name: Harper's Island
Country: USA
Genre: Thriller
Airing Status: 13 part mini-series, 6 aired to date.
You can find the Downloads: here

Just as everyone, to some degree loves a good crime drama, everyone loves a good mystery. Harper's Island is kind of like the boardgame Clue, for those that don't know what Clue is, its a murder mystery where you have to solve who did the murder by deduction and guessing, there was a movie made in the 1970s, but we'll just forget that ever happened. Anyway, Harper's Island is the story of a group of family and friends that travel to an island off the coast of Seattle Washington for a wedding, little do they know that 7 years before this island was the sight of a brutal unsolved killing spree. As the show progresses you discover that each episode atleast one member of the cast will die, until there is only a very few and the killer left, its abit like Agetha Christie's "Till there were none" in that respect. What makes the show great is that you have already seen the murderer, you just don't know who they are, and the wondering and speculation just runs rampant in your mind as you watch. I tend to get a group of friends together and we all go back and forth on who it is through the whole episode, normally whoever we think it is dies at the end of the episode, so this tells me two things, 1.) CBS is being very sly and taken alot of time with this "event", and 2.) my friends suck at solving mysteries when we don't have a 1966 Chevy Corvair Van and a talking Great Dane. Both things I've made my peace with... mostly. This show is a big thing for me, because I was made at its network CBS for a very long time after canceling the amazing series Jericho and passing on the brilliant Babylon Fields before it ever made it past pilot stage. Harper's Island has really got me buzzing as to its ending, I love these sort of events, they aren't done here on american television that often anymore, which is a shame. So if you have never seen something of this nature, or you just like mysteries, give this a shot, its great.


Well thats all for this round, I might do a third set, but I gotta really think of some good stuff, and also find some downloadables for some, afew I got in mind being so rare I had to buy the dvds to get them... so, till then... enjoy!

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Laz

First Look at ABC's Reboot of V

So with all the flurry and fury over the four networks here in the states putting out there fall line ups this week, there is abit of a buzz around ABC's reboot of the classicly cheesy 1980s sci fi action soap V. Oh sure the plot was kind of thin back then, alien lizards come to earth wearing pretty people suits, they come to steal our water and enslave us all, you know, like all aliens want to do, but still, for retro through back cheese, V was awesome. And thats why I'm so excited about this reboot they're doing. Is it gonna last long? I don't know, it probably won't go more then the first run's episode and a half or so, but i'm ok with that, because in this era of rebooting, its good to see some good old fashion camp get back up in the saddle... anyway here are the clips...





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Laz

Television Shows You Should All Give A Watch Pt. 1

I've always been a huge fan of television, given my job it sort of comes with the territory, but I don't know if anyone really understands the length I tend to go to for my work in terms of research, I tend to work as hard as I can to be the best at what i do, and as a critic, I tend to believe in the idea that if you don't pigeon hole yourself into certain genres, and more so, if you don't limit yourself to what you can find just on your television, then you can be a fair judge of programing and content, what I mean is, just about anyone can watch a tv show and say it stinks or is good, but if you spend your time, researching, watching, studying what everyone around the world is watching, why they're watching it, what trends are hot in what country, stuff like that, that makes you a great critic, that knowledge... with that said, I would like to share with you all afew television programs from around the world that I feel alot of you might enjoy, if you aren't enjoying them already...

Alright, ready? set? Lets go..



Name: Reaper
Country: USA
Genre: Dramatic Comedy
Airing Status: Currently Airing its second season.
You can find the Downloads: here (missing Eps. 1 and 2 for some reason)

Reaper is probably one of my favorite shows on television at this moment, its a playful, sometimes goofy, sometimes dark and twisted but always funny with just enough drama to keep the people that want alittle of that with their comedy happy. Its the story of Sam Oliver, unwitting retriever of souls that escape from hell. Sam's parents made a deal with the devil, and their end of the deal was, on Sam's 21st birthday, his soul would become property of the devil. On his 21st birthday the devil appears to Sam and explains to him that he will be a "bounty hunter for hell" or sorts, Sam refuses, and the devil explains to him he has no choice, Sam excepts this fact and with the help of his friends Ben and Sock, and eventually his girlfriend Andie, Sam goes about capturing which ever soul he's assigned to catch, as the show progresses you learn more about Sam's connection to the devil, about demons that live among the living, and the hole balance between heaven and hell. The real key to the show's success though, is definitely The Devil himself, played by the amazingly talented Ray Wise, a brilliant choice for the role, and he makes the devil the perfect mix of hilarity and pure evil. He alone is worth watching the show, though in truth the whole core and extended cast are brilliant as well. Plus with the almost certain cancellation at the end of this season, its one of those shows you should get on board with before its too late to find it anywhere.



Name: Dollhouse
Country: USA
Genre: sci fi action drama
Airing Status: finished airing its first season, returning in sept.
You can find the Downloads: here

Dollhouse is one of those shows that is a huge hit with its target demographic, but seems to be missing anyone outside of that, which really is a shame, the show is great. The concept is this; the show focuses around a place called The Dollhouse, a place inhabited by these people called "Dolls". What a doll is basically, whatever a human be. The people that run the dollhouse are paid for their service, a doll is selected, and then they are put in a machine where everything they will need for the job they were hired to do, they are set out to do the job and then brought back, the information, and the incident are then wiped from their mind, the dolls think they are sleep the entire time and are unaware of what they've done. Its really the ultimate idea for an action / drama hybrid. If you've not seen it yet, you should give it a look.



Name: Survivors
Country: UK
Genre: Sci Fi Drama
Airing Status: Finished Series One, Series Two starts in early winter
You can find the Downloads: here

Survivors, for me, is a favorite, I grew up watching reruns of the original 1970s series and I always loved it, but also, I'm a huge fan of its creator, the late great Terry Nation, the sci fi master who helped define Doctor Who and though literature and television helped mold modern science fiction into the brilliant tapestry that it is today. The concept of the show is as follows; a super virus that starts out exactly like the flu, starts in england, and with in the course of less then a week, decimates the entire planet, leaving somewhere in the area of about 99% of the planet dead, the remaaining percent were naturally immune to the virus, or in the case of lead character Abby Grant, she was sick, but her body built an immunity do it, leaving her the only known person to recover from the virus. The show follows Abby and her group of survivors as they do their best to build something out of whats left of the world, they encounter others who survived, some good, some bad, some who just wish to be left alone. Its an incredible series which doubles as a great social commentary on just how civilized we humans really are.



Name: Dead Set
Country: UK
Genre: Horror
Airing Status: Ended
You can find the Downloads: here

Every now and then, you need to shake things up abit, and what better ways to do that then to soak up some trash reality tv show or a zombie movie... or, even better then that, a reality game show that becomes a zombie movie! now THAT is the ticket. Dead Set is just that, a special event made for halloween 2008, this five part story of what happens when everyone in the united kingdom that isn't locked inside the Big Brother house slowly gets turned into zombies, and how those locked inside the house try to get themselves out. Oh sure, its really nothing more then a joke on the whole crowd that watches reality tv of that nature like its a religion, but still anyone thats ever watched anything big brother related will get a huge laugh out of the brit-host getting herself turned into a zombie and how she dies, I know i stood up and cheered. And I think thats the point of the mini-series, to have some scary fun at the expense of something that many people see as a plague on humanity. It still doesn't make me wanna watch Big Brother, but it does make me wanna laugh at them.



Name: Afterlife
Country: UK
Genre: Horror drama
Airing Status: Ended
You can find the Downloads: Here

Afterlife is to me, the greatest show I have ever seen, it tells the story of Allison Mundy, a lonely, emotionally and mentally traumatized woman who spends her life keeping to herself as much as possible and trying to not draw alot of attention to her secret, that she sees dead people. She would have continued her life this way until she meets Robert Bridge a professor and part time psychologist who works at a local university who teaches a class on how fake physics and mediums are, after a case where one of his student's dies, he starts to question his idea on those in her field after she states something to him that no one else could ever have known but him and his ex-wife. He decides to study her and eventually write a book about her, the series tells the story of their journey together, right to the ending that punches you in the stomach and continues to do so till you cry.



Name: Trailer Park Boys
Country: Canada
Genre: Comedy
Airing Status: Ended
You can find the Downloads: here (pick all 7 seasons and extras one at a time or together, your call)

Is it possible that the greatest comedy series of all time, is the ongoing story of a trailer park full of petty criminals trying to make a fast fortune by coming up with these seemingly hair brained schemes and spending their down time drunk, swearing and smoking way to much weed? Is it possible that the greatest comedy of all time is really that simple of a formula? I could argue that it is, because thats the general concept of Trailer Park Boys, a low budget filmed on location outside of Halifax Nova Scotia in what is now an abandoned trailer park, the show is shot "reality show style" where the cameras follow around everyone in the park like its some reality tv show, and tells you the story of Julian, Ricky and Bubbles, and sometimes their friends from around the park in their apparently never ending fight against the ever drunken Mr. Lahey and his shirtless companion Randy. Each season normally revolves around the main plot of some big scheme or another, and all the little snags that get in the way, and each season normally ends with atleast one member of the cast going to jail, and the following season picking up when they get out. It seems pretty simple enough, but what really sets the show apart is the characters, the entire cast right down to the secondaries and rare appearance people are just amazingly well thought out and well acted, infact its in there contracts that whenever they appear in public or are spotted, they have to be in character, to kind of make it feel like they really are the people they are playing. Its a brilliant show, just, if you have an issue with lots of drinking, drug use and ALOT of swearing, skip it, if not, give it a shot, you'll love it.



Name: Satisfaction
Country: Australia
Genre: Drama
Airing Status: Third Series starts late 2009/early 2010
You can find the Downloads: here and here

Satisfaction is for me, what I like to call Guilty Pleasure TV. Sure its the "down under cousin" to the UK's hit Secret Diary of a Call Girl, by cousin i mean they have the same kind of premise, not that the shows are connected. Satisfaction follows the story of an upscale brothel in Melbourne called 232 and the girls that work there and those who come in and out of their lives. Sure, one could go on about the nudity and sexual content of the show, but i figure every other person thats ever written about it does that, I figure I'll focus, as i always do, on characterization, the entire cast is well thought out, well written and seem comfortable in their roles, alot of times in shows of this nature, you see little hints of uncomfortable in the faces of the actors or actresses, and it always takes sway from the whole feel of the show for me, but not so much here, i like that. Sure, some could say its just trash tv thats no better then the dregs American and British night time dramas give you, but hey, name me one person that doesn't have afew guilty pleasure tv shows they watch.



Name: Fringe
Country: USA
Genre: Sci Fi Action Drama
Airing Status: Starts Second Season in September.
You can find the Downloads: here

This is one of those shows that when you look at it, at first it seems like some sort of X-File retread, but I assure you, its far from it. Based (and filmed on location in) Boston Massachusetts, Fringe tells the story of a group of FBI agents working on whats referred to as "cases of fringe science" meaning all the super science things we deem as "science fiction" by the general public, the show focuses on the team led by the beautiful yet always angry, Olivia Dunnum, which consists of herself, former con man Peter Bishop, Peter's father, the brilliant and completely insane Walter Bishop and Walter's "babysitter" Astrid. They work out of a lab in the basement of one of the older science buildings at Harvard University. The episodes range from things like Bank Robbers using sonics to walk though safe walls, to a form of LSD that causes hallucinations that kill you, and much more, they really do a good job trying to stay away from the normal sci fi subjects that shows of this nature seem plagued with. The real reason to watch the show though, is Walter Bishop, I have said this over and over again, the character is the greatest new character on television in recent years, and thats a very tall order to fill, that means beating out both Rose Tyler and Donna Noble or Doctor Who, Gwen Cooper of Torchwood, half the cast of Heroes, Allison Mundy of Afterlife, and countless others, Walter is the right mix of Doctor Frankenstein and that science teacher we all had who was insane but awesome because of it. Be it talking calmly about creating a time travel device so he could go back in time and ask a dead chemist a question but instead invented a teleporter by mistake, or stopping mid sentence to watch a unicorn run through his lab then continuing where he left off, or testing home made LSD on caterpillars for some unknown reason, Walter is a joy to watch, if you've not seen Fringe you seriously need to get on that.

And thats where I'm gonna end this part, I'll be back soon with more, just gotta dig up some images and some other stuff, damn netz... lol anyway, back with part two soon...

--
Laz

Why I Love Meiko Kaji

As most people know, and as the url for this blog probably gives away, I am a huge fan of the Grindhouse era of cinema, I always have been, there is just something that draws me to it, and the people who were seen as stars because of it, and like anyone I have my favorites, favorite films, favorite actors, favorite actresses, you know the normal. Its one of my favorite actresses that I'd like to speak about now though, because, well I can.




I would like to speak about a woman by the name of Meiko Kaji. A woman who though some could say she helped define the "pink film" era of Asian Cinema, she strived to be more then just a pretty face and a pretty body, she had many roles outside of the genre, and even has to this day a singing career and has held and is still working in television, with her returning to film if she feels the want to do so, she is also an author and the subject of afew books herself, and is seen by many as a cultural icon both in japan and asia, and to an extent, all over the world. She's in a sense, the asian Christina Lindberg (of whom I'll be writing of at a later date). Her films, also like Lindbergs, were a huge insperation for Quinton Tarentino's "Kill Bill" series, though the story itself mimiced Lindberg's "Thriller: A Cruel Picture" there were many aspects lefted from Kaji's work as well, most noteably "Lady Snowblood".




I first saw Meiko in what is called the Sasori series, a series which films include Female Convict 701: Scorpion, Female Prisoner Scorpion: Jailhouse 41, Female Prisoner Scorpion: Beast Stable, and Female Prisoner Scorpion: 701 Grudge Song, they tell the story of a woman named Nami "Matsu" Matsushima also known as her prison nickname "Sasori" (scorpion in english), it tells you the story of her wrongful conviction, her decent into insanity, violence and revenge, and eventually her road to freedom. Some could argue they are nothing but overly violent women in prison style exploitation films with nudity and atleast 2 graphic depictions of prison rape in the entire series of films, and the violent nature of them does kind of punch you in the face over and over again, but given the story, and how its ment to represent a woman who's gone completely insane and has adapted to her forced environment which is that of violence and death, so well that she has become the worst nightmare of those who have allowed the prisons to become that way. I've always said, Meiko in the long black coat and the large black hat which are trademark of the character of Matsu has to be one of the most beautiful images I've ever seen put on film, there is a scene in Grudge Song where she's wearing it while holding this custom long barrel dragonov sniper riffle where she just looks so beautiful and deadly at the same time... its just amazing.




Most will remember Meiko from her most popular movies here in the west, the Lady Snowblood series, which has the normal fodder for pink films of the asian market, murder, rape, prision, things like that, but tells the story of Yuki Kashima, who's mother was in prison for murdering a man that was part of a gang who murdered her family and raped her, her mother died during childbirth and her last words were to have her daughter taken somewhere and trained in the way of violence, so she could be able to take revenge on those who murdered her mother's family. At age 20, she does just this, both films in the series, Lady Snowblood and Lady Snowblood 2: Love Song Of Vengence are seen as some of the greatest movies in both the pink film and kung fu film genres, not many films hold this honor, and they are seen as only second and third to the movie Sex and Fury (another film I will speak of at a later date.). Meiko was also known here in the west for her Stray Cat Rock series, which are your basic asian school girl meets violence and such type movies, I'm not really a big fan of them personally, but they are early in Meiko's career and you can see the mastery she has over her films early in them.




What makes me love Meiko Kaji as I do is just the whole allure of her, her dark haunting eyes, the fact that she can be doing the most horrible and violent things but two second but still look beautiful while doing it, the japanese have a word for it that means "beautiful warrior" and the chinese have a word that means "alluring death" but I can't for the life of me remember how to spell either of them, but they both would be accurate adjectives for Mieko. She also allows you to see her soft side in each of her films, there are moments in each one, where though you see her gone completely insane and out for blood, she still shows the soft and playfully child like side of her, I love that about her. Its always been that depth, that wonderful command of all emotions and ability to switch to whatever she needs to be, thats made her such an icon to me. Yes, many could dismiss her as a woman that was put on screen because she's attractive and willing to do nudity and some darkly violent things, but, she's no different then women in most action movies today who are known for doing things of that nature, the only difference is, when Meiko did it, she did it in her own way, with her own style and her own grace, both of which, if you see her recent work, you will see is still there.





So if you haven't ever seen Meiko's work, or are curious of the inner workings of the asian take on grindhouse cinema, then take a look at her work, and see what you think.. Also, check out her music, her voice is just amazing. And hopefully in the end, you'll come to love Meiko as much as I do.

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Laz

Star Trek

Star Trek:
My Anti-Wolverine

Its not often in the film industry when a remake, or "reboot" as the buzz term these days calls it, really works. And though I do enjoy long running movie series, that stick to an expand on the traditions and stories told as the series goes on, and though I am half and half on "reboot" as a way to make people come to see a movie series, I have to say, in the cast of Star Trek, which seemed like a completely uphill battle of a man with a dart gun verse a (J.J) Abrams Tank. Its a daunting task, trying to recreate something with 43 years of iconic fandom, where you have to always show respect to what came before you even if it seemed silly by modern standards, one that I wasn't exactly sure if director/visionary J.J Abrams could pull off, but I've known Abrams to pull off the impossible before, well, except getting me interested in watching Lost, but that aside, I must say, J.J pulled off the impossible again. Giving a new start to something as iconic and deep as Star Trek is the kind of task that no one really wanted, it was one of those things tht people always talked about, but never thought of doing, and though some scoff at the J.J Abrams for having to use the idea of time travel to pull it off, personally, I cheer and applaud him for it.

Abrams was able to show heavy influence of the original concept and feel, how the shuttles look, the phaser look, all of those classic things, even working in remixed versions of the classic trek music at times, while mixing in modern and ultra modern styling ideas and changes, like the new look of the enterprise itself, and the general feel of the film, you actually believed you were in the future, not the 1960s or early 1990s cosplaying the future, which, as any movie goer will tell you these days, is a very important thing when it comes to modern film making.

The film is brilliantly cast, which is another important key when rebooting something as iconic as Star Trek, you have to make sure that your casting is completely flawless, and Abrams once again, nailed it perfectly, there is just the right mix of unknown, recognizable faces, and big name talent, all of which show no fear or nervousness on camera knowing the shadows they're stepping into. Relatively unknown Chris Pine steps into the role of James T. Kirk perfectly, he fits the character's feel and persona perfectly well, and even shares his, fetish, for green skinned women, you get the feel by the end that you want to see more of his Kirk, he's done his research and amazingly pulled off the role, I would really love to see more of him in the inevitable movie series that follows, the biggest shock of all for me, was to see Zachary Quinto, better known as Gabriel Grey/Sylar, on the television series Heroes, as Spock. Now, of the three big roles in the film, Spock, as iconic as he is, is the hardest of them to play, you either do him justice or spit in the face of Leonard Nimoy with it, but, Zachary, i have to say, out did Nimoy, yes, I know this is insane to say, but he did, the look, the feel, the mannerisms, even tossing Sylar's evil eyebrow into the mix, he completely out spock'd the original Spock, or as the film credits call him, "Spock Prime" do to the time travel aspect of the film itself. Moderately unknown Karl Urban plays the great Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, who he plays to the point I almost forgot anyone else played the role, no disrepect ment to the late great Deforest Kelly, who was one of my favorites, but for some reason, Karl gets the character alot better, he gets every bit of Bones perfectly, right down to his banter with Spock and even spouts out his "Damnit Jim I'm a Doctor not a (place thing here)" line that seemed to be his catchphrase in the original series, he even explains where he got the nickname of Bones from, which is a nice touch. John Cho, of Harold and Kumar "fame" (I use that word loosely), plays Hikaru Sulu, playing the role with more depth and a nice mix of serious and funny that has never really been seen in the role before, the same with Anton Yelchin as Pavel Chekov, who I found the reinvigoration of him as a 17 year old whizkid with speech issues amazingly good, though admittedly, with both roles, the characters before them weren't really all the in depth, so they were kind of clean slates, rounding out core cast is the brilliant Simon Pegg as Montgomery Scott, who is shown as more of the joker in this, and a sort of mad warp engine scientist of sorts, I just wish he was in more of the film, and finally, Zoe Saldana fills out the core cast as Nyota Uhura, who is a master of subspace channels and the best language translator there is, she is also there to wear knee boots and apparently be in love with Spock, instead of Kirk as she was first time around.

With out giving away to much of the story, it starts out with the death of Kirk's father, giving his life to save his pregnant wife who is in labor with James and 798 other people onboard a star ship, thats fallen pray to a ship that appears out of nowhere and uses its apparently super futuristic tech and weapons to decimate the ship, Kirk's father gets everyone off and when he notices the auto pilot is not fuctioning, realizes the only way to save all of those loves, including his wife and born on an escape shuttle son, is to use himself and the ship as a ram, in his last few minutes he names his newborn son James, after his wife's father, joking that his father's name, Tiberius, is a name he wouldn't wish on anyone, not long before the impact.

From here you split between seeing the life of James T. Kirk as he grows up on earth rebellious and wild, and the story of Spock growing up on Vulcan, where they look down on him for being half human. For less confusion's sake I'll break this part down per character to make it easy to follow in text, though in film form it jumps between the two..

You follow Kirk's life for the next two segments of the film, first you see him at age 10 as he leads a cop on a high speed chase that ends with the wreaking of his step father's late 1960s Stingray body style Corvette that plummets over a cliff, and then next you find him 15 years after that, when he's a cocky small town bad boy who is smooth with the ladies and big on the trash talking, he picks a fight with some Starfleet cadets who don't much like the idea of him talking to a young cadet named Uhura, who happens to catch his eye. The ensuing brawl is broken up by one the cadets' superior officer, one Christopher Pike, who after explaining that James' father was sort of a hero to him, tries to enlist James in Starfleet, which James declines, until Pike says with his pedigree, and if he's half the man his father was, he could be an officer in four years and have his own ship in eight years, James sleeps on the idea, shows up the next morning and tells Pike he can make officer in three years and gets in the ship thats going to take the new recruits to the academy. From here the film shows how Kirk encounters every other member of the main cast.

You follow Spock on Vulcan growing up a misfit, there is a hilarious scene at the start that shows just how lame bullies are on Vulcan, young spock is shown standing by himself, then up walk three taller, probably older vulcan boys, Spock says to them "have you thought up new insults and wish to use them on me to attempt and gain an emotional response?" the leader of the three says "Yes, that is correct", young Spock just looks at him says they're attempted to get an emotional response out of him over 130 (I think) times and failed, and suggests they stop. The lead bully then calls Spock's mother a "human whore" and pushes him, Spock has had enough and the lil'vulcan knocks the biggest bully down and starts to beat him senseless. I'm puzzled that a culture that claims to be about logic and prides itself on being devoid of all emotion, has bullies, a social archetype that requires emotions in both the bully and in the one they decide to pray upon, this by all accounts shouldn't be, but I don't mind it, given the hilarious nature of most of the scene. You next see Spock talking to his mother, played surprisingly by Winona Ryder, who does a great job. The two talk about destiny and that Spock should do what he feels is right, not what is logical all the time, and that he can choose his own path, not logic. You then see Spock as he stands before the vulcan high council, which his father Sarek, played perfectly by Ben Cross, a cult actor of sorts who I get a kick out of everytime I see him, the head of the council asks Spock why he's applied to enroll in both the Vulcan Science Institute and Starfleet, Spock says "it only seems logical to apply for both..", the head of the council says he's been excepted to the Institute, and that they were amazed by his test scores given his "disability", when Spock asks what this means, they say "You being half human ofcourse.." this angers makes Spock decide instead to go to Starfleet, the head of the council yells and says no vulcan has ever turned down a placement in the Institute, Spock says "But, I am half human, there for your record of no vulcan turning down placement remains intact.." he then coldly looks at them and says "Live long and prosper..." using it as an insult. You next see him near the end of the first act of the film where you see that he's become an instructor at the Starfleet institute, he meets James Kirk when Kirk finds a way to beat his impassable simulation test, The Kobe AshiMaru, a test designed to test mental faculties in a very high stress battle scenario.

With out going into what happens after the first act, which is all set up and fanwank for act two, where the story really starts, I will say this, the film is brilliantly shot and designed, there is so much care taken into how the film was made, all the scenery, all the clothing, all the props, all of it, it really looks like you are on either future earth or on the original enterprise, right down to the hallways and chair set up, its just mindblowingly well done, Abrams set up to make a star trek made by a star trek fan, that was faithful to the original, yet allowing room for it to breath and become its own identity entirely separate, which I really think was a great move personally, a new reality allows for new things to come, or re-envisioning of classic stories. I had so very little really wrong with this film that its almost had to even think of anything of any real note to actually mention about the film itself, though i do wonder how Winona Ryder become a non-billed in the promo material secondary character, my only real comment would be I guess her star is burning out, but thats not really about the film, so it doesn't really count s a negative. I hear the next movie will be about Klingons, or maybe they'll go for the gusto and do a new Khan. Who knows? But I know this, either way, I'll definitely be in the theaters to see it. And so should all of you,. Just if you do go to see the film, don't go to the Hookset New Hampshire IMAX to see it, the guy that takes your ticket makes really lame jokes about Star Trek related things the whole time you're waiting for them to clean the theater so you can go get in and sit down. But if you aren't going there, totally get yourself to see it.



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Laz