The Worst Movies Ever Made Part 4
Ok now, I'll be the first to admit, every now and then I enjoy a good laugh at an intentionally stupid coming of age/high school movie, its not that I have a thing for hot underage girls or anything, I just enjoy a really good laugh that reminds me of stuff I did as a kid, I'm sure everyone has had that happen once in awhile. There are so many types of movies in this lil'genre too, the teenage sex comedy, the horror about the mistreated kid killing everyone, the whole "we're all going off to college soon lets have one last blast" kind of thing, the "loser trying to get the hot girl to date him" thing, so many, and ofcourse, one of the worst things ever created, thats right, the pedophile's dream movie, The Cheerleader movie. And that is why I had to include atleast one of the softcore underage porn.... umm... err.... I mean... ok thats really exactly what i mean, anyway, I just had to include atleast one installment from the Bring It On series.
This is the story of a cheerleader from Odessa Texas named Claire Bennet who can regenerate her limbs whenever dam.... oh wait a second, umm... no, its not Heroes, but yet, this is the movie that Hayden Panettiere starred in BEFORE she did Heroes, so I guess saving this cheerleader doesn't in anyway have anything at all to do with saving the world. It does however make me wonder why it seems the recently turned 18 and therefor no longer jailbait Hayden, seems to keep getting cast as underage naughty cheerleaders though. Its almost as if the world is telling us to check her out or something... but I digress, on to the very thin plot of the movie.
Ok so like, this one girl, like, named Britney (oh my gawd thats SUCH a great name!), she like, was this totally popular girl, like back at her old school, and so like, her dad, he totally loses his job and has to find work somewhere else, so like, he moves the family to Crenshaw Heights, which is like, this place outside of LA where I think like, rappers come from or something, because that totally sounds like a place rappers would come from right? (flips hair like a tard) So like, anyway, Britney has to totally fit in at her new school, and has trouble doing so, I totally think its because the leader of the cheer squad Camille is like, totally drinking Britney flavored HaterAide and making things uncool for her around high school. So Britney decides to do her best and earn her way onto the cheer squad, so like, she can totally get all up in Camille's grill and be all "whats hood bitch? Whats really hood?" so the story goes on to tell, like, how the two of them try to best each other at cheering until like, this big cheering contest comes along or something, and like, the winning squad gets to dance in like, a video or whatever for, the like totally awesome and currently big at the moment pop star Rihanna, the final to squads are Britney's new one, and the one from her old school, with like, all her friends on it and stuff, so she has to choose, like, whats more important, tossing the cheer for her old school and all her friends, or like, doing whats right and getting her new team that winner's spot... by the end, like Britney and Camille become like, totally BFFs!
Ok now, for those of you that didn't realize I wrote that in a sarcastic parody of a valley girl, please go cut yourselves or something, cuz damn, its so easy to tell what I did there.
Anyway, this movie is really one of the worst, if you look last the fact its poor pedophile's masturbation fodder and see it as a movie, its even worse, Hayden can't save this movie, nor can the fact Solange Knowles, younger sister to Beyonce Knowles is in it doesn't help much either. Its just an all around horrible and painful to sit through movie, the script is WAY below par of most direct to video movies, I mean seriously Frankenfish was better then this. So please, PLEASE, don't waist your time on it. You'll end up sitting there wondering why your butt hurts after watching it.
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Laz
This is the story of a cheerleader from Odessa Texas named Claire Bennet who can regenerate her limbs whenever dam.... oh wait a second, umm... no, its not Heroes, but yet, this is the movie that Hayden Panettiere starred in BEFORE she did Heroes, so I guess saving this cheerleader doesn't in anyway have anything at all to do with saving the world. It does however make me wonder why it seems the recently turned 18 and therefor no longer jailbait Hayden, seems to keep getting cast as underage naughty cheerleaders though. Its almost as if the world is telling us to check her out or something... but I digress, on to the very thin plot of the movie.
Ok so like, this one girl, like, named Britney (oh my gawd thats SUCH a great name!), she like, was this totally popular girl, like back at her old school, and so like, her dad, he totally loses his job and has to find work somewhere else, so like, he moves the family to Crenshaw Heights, which is like, this place outside of LA where I think like, rappers come from or something, because that totally sounds like a place rappers would come from right? (flips hair like a tard) So like, anyway, Britney has to totally fit in at her new school, and has trouble doing so, I totally think its because the leader of the cheer squad Camille is like, totally drinking Britney flavored HaterAide and making things uncool for her around high school. So Britney decides to do her best and earn her way onto the cheer squad, so like, she can totally get all up in Camille's grill and be all "whats hood bitch? Whats really hood?" so the story goes on to tell, like, how the two of them try to best each other at cheering until like, this big cheering contest comes along or something, and like, the winning squad gets to dance in like, a video or whatever for, the like totally awesome and currently big at the moment pop star Rihanna, the final to squads are Britney's new one, and the one from her old school, with like, all her friends on it and stuff, so she has to choose, like, whats more important, tossing the cheer for her old school and all her friends, or like, doing whats right and getting her new team that winner's spot... by the end, like Britney and Camille become like, totally BFFs!
Ok now, for those of you that didn't realize I wrote that in a sarcastic parody of a valley girl, please go cut yourselves or something, cuz damn, its so easy to tell what I did there.
Anyway, this movie is really one of the worst, if you look last the fact its poor pedophile's masturbation fodder and see it as a movie, its even worse, Hayden can't save this movie, nor can the fact Solange Knowles, younger sister to Beyonce Knowles is in it doesn't help much either. Its just an all around horrible and painful to sit through movie, the script is WAY below par of most direct to video movies, I mean seriously Frankenfish was better then this. So please, PLEASE, don't waist your time on it. You'll end up sitting there wondering why your butt hurts after watching it.
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Laz
1 comments:
Sorry for off topic, but 2012 is close, is this really matter?
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