The Worst Movies Ever Made Part 5
I remember the very first time I saw this next movie on our list, it was the late 1990s and I was bored and in this at the time closing video store in Massachusetts when I saw it sitting in a box that said "15 dollars for entire box", so i looked through afew of the movies on top, figured it would be worth buying it for just afew of the video cassettes in the box, looked through 4 other boxes just like it, and bought them too. I didn't really notice this one till I got home and was spending a weekend with my girlfriend in the old barn my parent's converted into a place for me to live when I was 16, so I had "a since of independence and such", anyway, we were sitting there one night watching movies out of my boxes of video cassette booty from that video store, and we came acrossed this, and oh the fun we do have... So with out any more introduction, I give to you, one of the greatest piles of crap ever made..... Starcrash.
Ok so here we go, this is the basic plot to Starcrash; A pair of smugglers manage to pick up a castaway while running from the authorities, who turns out to be the only survivor from a secret mission to destroy a mysterious superweapon designed by the evil Count Zartham. The smugglers are soon recruited by the Emperor to complete the mission, as well as to rescue the Emperor's son, who has gone missing. Sounds pretty average for 1979 space movies right? Everything's trying to be the next Star Wars, and this is no exception, it rips off both Star Wars and Battlestar Galatica pretty bad as you can tell by the Cylon mixed with Boba Fett looking guy on the cover, but here is the kicker... the Emperor is played by former big name star Christopher Plummer, which in itself is an amazingly funny thing given how completely garish the outfit he had to wear for this italian made Rock filled Space Opera of a bomb was. But also the fact he had to share some screen time with the one and only Hoff himself, David Hasslehoff!
Yes, this is pre-knight rider Hoff-ness going on here, the big hair, the leather, the fake bad ass persona that looks like an extra from the village people! The awesomeness of this pile of crap is just so completely amazing. Its totally worth watching just to see how bad The Hoff acts in this, the only thing that would have made it more awesome was if he sang. And ofcourse by awesome I mean so bad you have to point and laugh in disbelief at just how bad it really is. The whole story is basically shabby made robots with lightsabers that are altered just enough to escape being sued by George Lucas and his entire cadre of sith like lawyers. But the basic fights and stuff are the same as you would find in a star wars movie, but, you know, just with the Hoff.
So if you are a fan of crappy, and I mean really crappy low budget movies, then give this a try, if not, well, run away from it, run far away........... Seriously i'm not kidding here run away as fast as you can from this stinker. GO!
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Laz
Ok so here we go, this is the basic plot to Starcrash; A pair of smugglers manage to pick up a castaway while running from the authorities, who turns out to be the only survivor from a secret mission to destroy a mysterious superweapon designed by the evil Count Zartham. The smugglers are soon recruited by the Emperor to complete the mission, as well as to rescue the Emperor's son, who has gone missing. Sounds pretty average for 1979 space movies right? Everything's trying to be the next Star Wars, and this is no exception, it rips off both Star Wars and Battlestar Galatica pretty bad as you can tell by the Cylon mixed with Boba Fett looking guy on the cover, but here is the kicker... the Emperor is played by former big name star Christopher Plummer, which in itself is an amazingly funny thing given how completely garish the outfit he had to wear for this italian made Rock filled Space Opera of a bomb was. But also the fact he had to share some screen time with the one and only Hoff himself, David Hasslehoff!Yes, this is pre-knight rider Hoff-ness going on here, the big hair, the leather, the fake bad ass persona that looks like an extra from the village people! The awesomeness of this pile of crap is just so completely amazing. Its totally worth watching just to see how bad The Hoff acts in this, the only thing that would have made it more awesome was if he sang. And ofcourse by awesome I mean so bad you have to point and laugh in disbelief at just how bad it really is. The whole story is basically shabby made robots with lightsabers that are altered just enough to escape being sued by George Lucas and his entire cadre of sith like lawyers. But the basic fights and stuff are the same as you would find in a star wars movie, but, you know, just with the Hoff.
So if you are a fan of crappy, and I mean really crappy low budget movies, then give this a try, if not, well, run away from it, run far away........... Seriously i'm not kidding here run away as fast as you can from this stinker. GO!
-----
Laz
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